Walk Me Home🌻

 Oh species you need not use a razor blade to see my blood, just come in. Right here it's where its red, eww 🤢 is that clot?...oh wait a minute its healing. You promised you will walk me home, quit asking how far we are. But I can't help telling you, I can't help it because we are so close I'm excited. I wanted it to be a surprise, I wanted to see how far you would  come with me, boy!!! You should have been named Perseverance, wait I don't mean it I would hate to see you carry that title when I myself lack it.

I am quite sure you getting bored with all these riddles but I never really promised to entertain you, its how I would like to get home. I am a 22 year old and my life has been filled with more downs than ups. But before I go on let me clarify this for you things are looking up again and sweetheart this time around we are not going back to Egypt. Back to the years: 10 have been joyful, 12 are the reason I am writing in the first place so I can get back to that place where I felt whole and secure. It was in the arms of the Father - not your ordinary dads; I am talking about the one who never sleeps nor slumbers. 

A few weeks back I was watching the super full moon, its beauty triggered feelings I locked in a box and swore I would never open again. Its because it was whole and I am not, I swear had you been inside my head that day you would no doubt have sent me to a mental institution. I mean who gets mad at the moon for being so full and whole?...I do! Its the moon more than you humans that remind me of a void that no man can fill. I would love to liken my void to an empty house that has not had inhabitants for a very long time - rusty, messed up pipes, cracked floors, broken windows, unflushed loo. Gross right? I told you its messy and I am not here to lie and impress. I forgot to mention the door because that also Is significant, funny and blunt somehow because that is where most if not all of you have been turning around...you couldn't get past the door. Picture a door step that is accommodative enough to chill for a second, that is where you have been sitting. "You" Is family, friends and lovers - and I am sorry to say with all your love and warm embraces you never could fill the emptiness down on the inside of me, I love you though my temporary doorstep inhabitants (it exists in my world), but please walk me home will you?

Only one man can be the permanent inhabitant...wait as a matter of fact He already is moving in. Allow me to introduce you - at the sound of His voice demons tremble, at the mention of His name hell gets nervous. That is why I want you to walk me Home, I want you to meet the one who Is going to love me on both nights I am moonless and full. The one who is going to make me whole again, maybe I might just befriend the moon and quit being jealous.

Do think of me the next time you see a whole full moon, I will be watching it too, the goal is to be whole not perfect. I thrive!

To the one who relates - I know I am not the only one I can never be: keep walking you're not alone even if it feels like it and if we happen to meet along the way, I promise to walk with you...I too am longing for a city with streets and avenues of gold, H.O.M.E 🌻