🌻💫its been a while

 It's been a while...

It's been a while since I actually sat down and decided to write something. Your guess is as good as mine "things are going pretty well over here" and because only pain triggers my writing skills which ain't much but something; I haven't been in touch with one of my loves...dear love I hope you fail me not on this one!

I figured on the onset of this blogging journey that I did mention and still stand by it that "I'm on my way home, a whole lot of you shall come too" and that I'm trying to know me too, ergo you deserve to read about my happiest moments too now don't you?

It's kind of odd and suspicious that a whole being who has known more pain than joys could be living what I choose to believe is the best of her life...maybe I am celebrating too soon but would you blame me, I mean I have prayed for this moment and it's been in the hood for a while now.  A moment of unexplainable peace of course with a few doubts here and there. Allow me to gloat  and bathe in this glory, half of this year has been nothing but bliss.

I cant say I'm home yet, we are still moving but I see it, I see it its over there.

Maybe I am writing because I need your reassurance that I do deserve all the good things, validation maybe - a need gifted to me by the trauma gods. Or maybe I am writing because boy I need you to know that it's a Ray of sunshine over here, a thousand splendid suns...

Nevertheless,  my relationship with the moon is none of hate these days but a sisterhood,  an understanding that I too like it do stand out and am beautiful.
I pray for an eternity of days like these, even better ones. I am glad He found me, I am glad I let Him move in, I am glad I allowed Him to show me that i have always had in the inside of me what I have been searching for in some of your broken souls ( forgive my impoliteness)...it did take a whole lot of pain to get here though,  a silver lining because now I have no doubt at all that I too am one of them that break glass ceilings...

If you are here today and you think I'm bluffing, that's OK! And that's on you

If you're here today I wish to tell you I am whole, unlike the first time I introduced myself to you; unpleasant circumstances it were...

If you're here today because you want to know how I did it, how I'm still doing it : I have been silencing the poison in me, I dared not drop the mic ,I let a different voice speak a voice with the highest pitch.
Simply, I let God - God
And you darling can too

I might and will tremble and fall somewhere along the way (such is inevitable) but on that day I want to come back here to this very post and feel it again, feel how it has been to know and be beauty, on that day I will brag that I too have known better days.

Hence maybe this isn't for you to read, maybe it Is a letter to me, to my deary future self
I like this
I like this for me
I too have cuddled and kissed with better days