People Change, Perhaps People Don’t Change…

 The worst thing about starting is the difficulty of the very first step to starting, in this scenario it would be how to open any sentence. I frown at anything corny and lately I have been obsessed with this colloquial statement "and stuff" so I really was about to throw it in here - oh wait I just did.

 Another thing I just did is open {sighs in relief}. Failing a great deal isn't something I look forward to either so I hope this wasn't corny - but it works for me. So let's do this again…

 Hey Dainty, couple of minutes it's been(a little over 24months if you want to play honest)... I might be here for a short while perhaps longer. Longer as the period I have been scared of dogs; that would be close to two decades.Come with me - I'm taking you to when I was aged 4,5 or 6 . I'd love to say "we" but I will not associate myself because of a result of a mere incident that would define my whole life of not being a dog person. So let's try this again - my family had a dog which I'd like to believe was my friend until it bit me one day. I remember it so vividly I screamed my lungs out like any 4,5 or 6 year old would. The scream might have been of the pain or perhaps the shock. Now that I think of it, it could be the latter - the shock of "I thought you were my friend". Post that incident I have no memories of Sporty (that was his name), I might even have forgotten the great times he was my friend. 

 What I can tell you though is from that day I could never be close (in distance) with dogs - never as close as Jamaica was to scooping that gold in the 9 seconds famous 100m Olympics ( unrelated but this is just to let you know I watched it; didn't plan to - the word would be gloat). See, what I'm trying to tell you is whoever came up with the "once bitten, twice shy" didn't miss at all. This has been me my whole life - with dogs, with people, with life and stuff- TWICE SHY. I'm talking about from crossing both my index and middle finger together (as if wanting it to be true, hoping it was true ) to biting my teeth when walking in the street and I see a dog close or from a distance- merely because someone said that way they will not smell your fear. Listen, I cannot tell you how far true this was but it worked at least for me. 

 Not until recently. Really whoever came up with the "people change" didn't miss either. I may be people in this case. But again maybe one day you'll quote me as the person who said "Maybe people do not change, they just hadn't met that version of themselves yet".A very friendly dog came up to me wanting a pat/massage on the head (dog lovers would know what it's called).I forgot about my trauma and it was only warmth I felt for this particular dog, I enjoyed the pat more than he did if we're being honest. For a moment I thought maybe Sporty was just playing and didn't mean to hurt my poor little finger, may be I just didn't give him a chance, may be I just didn't give dogs a chance, may be dogs really are a man's best friend. I could never in a million years thought I would warm up to this, let alone writing about it.

 Morale of this story : people do change (contradictorily so) I have met versions of myself I never thought I would be(not entirely simple) simply because I made decisions to allow myself to meet other me(s). I sometimes refer to myself as Dora the explorer - have you ever thought of exploring yourself, meeting other you(s) and existing perfectly in the differences because that makes you YOU. I am not saying you're not enough, I am saying Maybe there's more to the You you've met and embraced all these years...and it doesn't end there. There's other you(s) you're yet to meet and you'd love to fit them into what and who you already are...would you allow yourself? 

 I am not saying I will get a dog and stuff lol, I am not saying I won't. But now and never before its open for discussion. At the onset of this blog page - on my profile I wrote "You see I am on my way home, I will get there, I hope you come too". 

As you walk me home my hope is I am walking you to yours in more ways than one.I've met a dog lover along my way, who have you met along yours? 

 People change(scratch that)Life changes, perhaps people do not change they just haven't met that version of themselves yet.

 ✨zazaza✨